I’m still alive…

I’m sorry, I hope I have not left anyone hanging as far as visitation goes.   With the holidays and a ridiculous work schedule I have not has time to post.  I promise I will try to do better in the future.

Thanks for hanging in there.

4 Responses to I’m still alive…

  1. frustrated January 11, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    I have really enjoyed reading thru your blog. I wanted to ask some questions:

    Little Background:
    I am a step mom and have been married to my husband for over 6 years. We have 3 children together and I have one and he has one from a previous marriage. I am lucky that my ex and I actually have always done holidays, birthdays etc together for our son and him and my husband have coached together etc. A great relationship all around. (We have not always gotten along, but we don’t show that around our son) My ex even remarried, had a child, and divorced and she and my son’s sister still come to all events holidays, etc. We consider them all family.

    My husband’s ex is a different story. It has been nothing but trouble. She has accused different people of molestation ( which all were cleared, but long story that ends with her trying to get her geographic restrictions removed), she has refused visitation for no reason, she is always complaining if the child has a tangle in her hair after picked up, she just decides last minute we can’t have our summer visitations or if she wants her a few more days here and there, and even told us we did not get weekends in the summer and had her lawyer tell us that. Sadly we believed it this past summer, but not anymore. We hired a lawyer before, but 10,000 later we only got her to make up the visitation and nothing happened to her. We have had several times where we just could not afford to do anything. Well around December she started with a weekend denying visitation and taking the child out of school so we could not get our time. We decided to get a lawyer and file enforcement. They are saying that it will probably be settled out of court again.

    Here is my question: At what point will she get contempt? If all she has to do is make up the time and we have to pay thousands to get someone to make her do this we are going to go bankrupt. What does it take to get an enforcement case to result in contempt or probation or jail time? Will it get settled out of court every time? I think she keeps doing this because she knows she won’t get in any trouble.

    Next question:
    The ex wife has told my husband that he is not his daughter’s bio dad that her current husband ( they just moved in together in May and married in January) is the dad because she had an affair when his daughter was conceived. We know this is not the case. She has the daughter calling this man dad. Is there anything that can be done. She is telling my husband that she told the daughter and she is fine with this, but we are not sure and we don’t want to ask the child if her mom has told her this and cause drama. We are worried she is telling the child this and confusing her even more. Is there anything that can be done about this?

    By the way the daughter is 10.

  2. Denise January 18, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    Hi Chris,

    Can a CP use the excuse that she will get fired if she requests to have to take off overtime work on a Saturday to drop off her child under 3?

    Some more info.- The CP came up with the provision I guess for the decree to let the NCO only have the child under 3 for 10-2 on saturdays until she is 2 then its from 10-4. But the NCP must visit at least 1 saturday a month six times in a row before the next bday. Agreed and signed the decree. There is also a 6 yr old that is picked up on fridays after 6pm and is kept till sunday at 6pm. The CP just says no I’m not bringing her I’ll just bring her when its conveinent for me, she says. (They live 100 miles apart or more, but it is also written of designated meeting places as well). Can she do that pick and choose when she will meet to drop off the child when its not being agreed upon? I thought if there couldn’t be an agreement on both parties it falls back to Standard Order in decree? The decree states that the NCP shall pick two weekends per month of their choice with 14 days in advance notification. Which is done and actually kept on 1st 3rd and 5th weekends to make things easier.

    A list of dates of when the NCP will be visiting with the girls was given early Decemeber, so that she may notify her employer if advance. The NCP already notified her (CP) that he will not be able to visit onthe 1st weekend (one the the weekends he picked and notified her in Dec.) but the he will be picking up on the 17th weekend (the other weekend she was notified of in Dec.) The CP stated sorry I have plans that weekend you will have to pick another weekend since that wasnt a date you picked. But after reviewing the email sent in Dec. it indeed was one of the, plus its the 3rd wkend of month.

    The child under 3 stays with the grandparents while she is at work and according to the 6yr old they both stay with the grandparents everyweekend that they arent picked up by their father. Is the NCP doing something wrong here?? How is he able to see his under 3 child, if the CP keeps making excuses and matters worse? Especially, if the Grandparents are capable of dropping off or any other competent adult so that she is following the decree. Wouldn’t it just be easier for everyone involved for the child under 3 to just spend the same time as the 6yr. old?

  3. frustrated January 20, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    Still frustrated lol.

    I posted on Jan 11th and had another question:

    Now my husband’s ex wife is avoiding being served. She is a nurse so the server was turned away and not allowed in at the hospital that she works at and she said she would be home on certain days ( cause she doesn’t want to be served at work) to please serve her at home and then was not there either time. The server is asking us what we want to do. Would this be a case where we could do an ad in the paper as notification?



  4. Greg January 26, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    Just found your blog and I love it!! So helpful! I’ve been wishing there was something exactly like this, walking through the various complexities and quirks of the Texas SPO month-by-month.

    Two questions for you:

    1. If you could rewrite the Texas SPO with the goal of making it fairer to both parents and the children, what would you change, if anything? At times I’ve thought I had a better plan but often come to realize that the state formula ain’t all that bad.

    2. On our decree (which was a new form that became available in 2011) it states that neither myself nor my ex gets to decide on the residence of the children. We liked the sound of that at the time and checked it, but now I’m not sure what it really means. We have joint custody in every area, but she is the custodial parent. Are you familiar with the option I’m talking about and if so, does it mean the kids get to decide?

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